TLTD #15 - The big four oh

40 trips around the sun

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to go on a tangent about turning 40. Bear with me.

This year I turned 40. I can truly say that I love my life and everything that I have achieved — of course, it wasn’t without its challenges.

Having been in our industry for over 20(!) years, I’ve learned a few lessons I wish I had learned sooner and I would love to share these with you.

So here’s the advice I would give my 18 year old self if I had the chance:

• Invest in relationships

• Don’t take yourself too seriously

• Being an idealist is fine — just don’t forget the bigger picture

• Pay yourself first

Invest in relationships

If you’re in your late teens and/or early 20s, this probably isn’t top of mind. You likely still hang out with high school friends and have a really active social life.

It’s funny how quickly that can change though. For me, it changed when I decided to move countries over 15 years ago. It’s a lot harder to develop relationships as you get older but it pays off in dividends over time. We — men, especially — tend to become less social and more recluse over time. This is bad.

Having a strong network of friends, both locally and abroad, has been fundamental to my mental health and I urge you do the same — emphasis on strong, not large.

Don’t take yourself too seriously

Remember, nobody cares as much about the way you’re perceived than you do. We tend to place undue weight on people’s opinions of us and honestly that is such a waste of brain cycles.

Nobody cares about the car you drive, the way you dress or whether or not you are wearing the latest Apple Watch.

What people will remember is how you make them feel. That can last a lifetime and it’s really the only thing that matters.

Being an idealist is fine — just don’t forget the bigger picture

We all know idealists. Perhaps we are idealists ourselves. I know I’ve had my fair share of idealism in my professional life and honestly it’s held me back.

Idealism tends to lead to zero-sum thinking. The real world could not be further from a zero-sum game. It’s entirely possible to move your agenda forward — whether that is climate change, the “best” programming language or animal welfare — while still playing the game.

In fact, by playing the game you ensure you have a seat at the table and can effect change. It’s a far more productive way of thinking that can lead to long term positive change.

Pay yourself first

The vast majority of us live in capitalist societies. As the saying goes, “money makes the world go round”. Yet, very few countries teach any sort of financial literacy in schools.

I can tell you right now that right up to my 30s I cared very little about my financial position and whether or not I could afford to own a home and have a comfortable retirement.

Then I picked up this excellent — albeit rather old — book called The Wealthy Barber. It fundamentally changed how I see money and how I make financial decisions. One of the most important principles I picked up is that of paying yourself first.

What this means is simple; most people spend their money like this:

1. Pay rent/mortgage/other essential bills

2. Buy groceries

3. Spend on leisure such as experiences, travel, fine dining, etc…

4. If there’s anything left after this, then maybe put it in savings

That simply does not work. Or at least it doesn’t work for me. So I pay myself first and flip it around:

1. 10% into savings + 10% into high growth, diversified ETFs

2. Everything else…

The key that makes step one work so well is automation. I’ve set my accounts up in such a way that when I get paid, the amount set aside for investments leaves my bank the next day. No temptation.

Ever since I started following this principle, I feel much more confident about my future.

What about you? What advice would you give your younger self?

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